♥ A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes she's a tramp. -Joan Rivers
♥ I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. -Joan Rivers
♥ I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are. -Joan Rivers
♥ I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property." -Joan Rivers
♥ I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery. -Joan Rivers
♥ It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who. -Joan Rivers
♥ My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. -Joan Rivers
♥ People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. -Joan Rivers
♥ I said to my husband, "Why don’t you call out my name when we are making love?" He said, "I don’t want to wake you up. -Joan Rivers
♥ Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty. -Joan Rivers
♥ The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. -Joan Rivers
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